The Paul Posluszny Buffalo Bills flag that has been flying proudly in front of the Cheektowaga town hall since 2007, is flying at half mast today upon news of the polish linebacker leaving town.
Shock and sadness rocked the predominantly polish community when they learned that their favorite linebacker, Posluszny, decided to sign with the Jacksonville Jaguars.
The mayor of Cheectowaga Stanley Trzetrzelewska addressed the saddened residents this afternoon “Poz wasn’t born in Cheektowaga. Poz never lived in Cheektowaga. Poz probably never even visited Cheektowaga. That’s because Poz was Cheetowaga.”
“I’m just numb right now”, said Eddie Dupiński, a one armed man who is usually seen hanging from a local tree, “I don’t even have the heart to climb a tree today.”
Cheektowaga businesses may be hurt by the Poz deal as well. Dabrowski’s Solar Powered Flashlights, a small store in the middle of town, has decided to close it’s doors. “Business sucks right now,” says owner Danny Dabrowski, “and with this news, I can’t see it getting any better.”
Local chef Franciszek Gadzinka, reading up on a recipe for ice cubes, was asked what he is going to do with his #51 jersey. “Well, I guess I’ll just hold onto it until we sign another guy named Pozluszny”.